I’ve said it once and I will say it again, this will never be a parenting blog. I truly believe in parenting with intuition and what works for one family may not work for another. The following is my experience with motherhood, in no way does it negate anyone else’s experience. I’m trying to be a better parent everyday so I hope this resonates with you.

It has been about a year since I started my journey as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Overall, I can say it has been the best decision for our family and for my well-being. That said it is not always easy and in my opinion can be far more challenging than a traditional 9-5. One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with was how I define myself. My career used to be such a big part of my identity. I watch the girls all day and take care of the house but because I don’t have a “career” and I’m not contributing financially I feel like I am not doing enough. For the record I believe being a SAHM (or parent) is valuable and important work, I just don’t give myself the same grace I do to others doing the same domestic labor.  This sometimes leads to negative self-talk, which sadly can lead me down a path of doom scrolling social media or trying to plan a “productive day” where I get a lot of things done while not focusing on the girls as much. I’m here to tell you, just watching your kids, playing with them, being silly with them, it is enough. The days I truly just focus on them and make them a priority are the days I feel the most joy in motherhood. These are also the days where we have fewer meltdowns and tantrums, and I’m not just talking about the kids. At my old job if an issue came up, I would give it 100% of my attention, so why when children are having a hard time would I see that as a nuisance and not as something I need to give 100% of my attention to? Being home with young kids can be very overstimulating and there is nothing wrong with stepping out if you need a moment to self-regulate, trust me I have a lot of times. It is so important for parents to have time for themselves, and I have found that I can enjoy that time much more when I’m not trying to fit it into the hours I’m with the kids. That’s not to say I don’t have moments of calm. There are days where the kids engage in independent play for long periods of time, and I can sit down and read for a bit or even work on the blog! We also take time to do a daily workout together, which is really for me but they love to encourage mom. Generally, though being a SAHM is a full-time job and when I treat it like that, I feel like our days go so much better. When I started to look at being a SAHM as a job, a job with as much importance as my old career, I began to feel more contentment with motherhood.

I should also say that this idea is applicable to working parents. Being a parent is an important job, but it does not have to be your only job, just give yourself permission to just be a parent when you get home. It sure can hard to flip that switch but when you do it can make parenting much more enjoyable.

I plan on going back to work eventually but whenever I start to feel like I’m not doing enough right now I remind myself that being their mom is enough. I am enough.

All photos below are by Stepheney Collins